Here are some tips
for writing a better personal advertisements and introductory letters.
1. This rule is the first one for a reason: Sell
yourself, don't sell the type of person you are looking for. Others will
read your letter to find out about you not the type of person they are
looking for. When you start listing all the things you are looking for
in a mate, what are you doing? You are getting more and more specific
about your "ideal partner" and that rapidly narrows your pool of
potentials. No one has exactly all of the qualities you are looking for.
If you are less specific about what you are looking for, you may receive
a letter from a wonderful person with a lot to offer, that you might not
have normally considered. By being so exacting and specific in the type
of person, you are throwing away a lot of possibilities. And, if you do
get a letter from someone who doesn't match your interests, you can
always turn them down in a polite letter. The idea is to get as many
letters as possible. In the search for that special someone, volume is
always better. A happily married couple visited our office on their
wedding anniversary. The lady reported receiving more than 100 letters
from her Country Connections subscription and didn't know what to do.
She let her father read through the letters and he gave her one and
said, "This guy's a keeper, you better write him." She did and the rest is history. They have now been married five years.
2. This is one for the men. Stop writing that you are looking for a "slender woman." Guys, have you ever met a woman who thought she was slender? No offense to the women who are reading this but nearly all will say they would like to lose a few pounds. When a guy writes that he is looking for a slender woman, that is akin to writing that they are looking for a super model. Many will be afraid to write. Men have more tolerance for body types than they think.
3. This is one for the women. Many men want a slender woman and the women want a "guy." To a man nothing sends up a red flag faster than writing about his finances. Have you ever meet a man who said he wants a woman to marry him for his money? Although they might act like boys with costly toys, men want to be loved for who they are, not how much they have. Writing how you are looking for a financially secure guy, is going to scare a lot of men off and limit your responses.
4. Men, believe it or not, how well you make a living counts for a lot in your attractiveness. If you can't hold a job, save money, pay your bills and be financially responsible, you need to set your loneliness aside and start improving yourself. It wouldn't be fair to you or the woman to bring her into a relationship where you are not floating above the financial waters. Financially security is important but don't flaunt it.
5. Ladies: physical attractiveness is important. A healthy, active woman is more attractive than one who is sedentary and unmotivated. If you can live a more healthy lifestyle, it could aid you in your search for that special some˙one. If you are exercising or doing things to improve your health, they could be a selling point if used subtly.
6. Some people are afraid to reveal their age or weight and leave those questions vague. To someone reading your letter, this could appear as though you have something to hide. Letters and profiles are not the place to be deceptive. It is best be open and show who you really are.
7. Subscribers who send pictures to be published with their personal profile always seem to get more letters. And more letters means a high probability of success. However, don't send just any picture. If you don't have a good picture, have a friend taken of you. Remember, people are going to to be looking at your photo and using it to help them decide if they want to write a letter. Please provide us with a flattering photo. We have received them but driver's license photos and pictures with a former spouse are not real helpful. Neither are pictures taken 10 or 20 years ago. The best photos show happy, pleasant to be around people.
8. Even though the profile form is the same for everyone, you have an opportunity to write about yourself at the bottom of the form. Use this space to write something original and creative. Be yourself. Be different from the other subscribers. Make yourself standout. as a person with something unique and wonderful to offer to others. The more information you provide the easier it is for our staff to prepare your profile. We remember the lady who wrote, "I can dig postholes with the best of them." Her profile stood out and she received lots of mail.
9. When it comes to hobbies and leisure activities men like men things and women like women things. Fortunately, our interests sometimes crossover and we find things in common with someone ease. And common ground is the number one reason we enter into relationships with others. When writing every word becomes important for selling yourself. That is why both men and women should first include those hobbies and interests which would also be of interest to others. If you are a woman who likes to watch college football, by all means list this. And men if you like to cook, women would consider that a golden nugget of information.
Safe Dating Tips
Don't be too quick in revealing your name, address and telephone number. Get to know the person you are corresponding with first. On first dates we suggest you meet at a neutral location, perhaps at a cafe, shopping mall, fair or similar event.
Before writing your own profile read how others have written their ads. Notice which ads attract your attention and make note of what drew your attention to those ads.
Pick out a catchy title. Remember that first impressions count.
Honesty is the best policy. Bring out your best qualities in your ad. Keep your profile positive. Show who you really are (ie, if you have a sense of humor use that to your benefit) Do not include adult content in your ad. Leave a little to the imagination and something to maybe discuss later after getting to know someone better.
ADD A PICTURE to your profile! That is the best advice you will receive. Ads with pictures receive 7-10 times more responses.
Make sure you fill out the narrative part of your profile. That is where you can really express yourself and the more you tell about yourself the more responses you can expect to receive.
Don't limit yourself by location. We live in a portable world! With the internet, telephones, airplanes, etc, the world is a small place so don't just look for someone in your neighborhood. Take time to browse all the profiles. Your soulmate may be next door but they may be in another state or country.
Write to numerous people. The more people you take the opportunity to meet the greater your chance of meeting that someone special.
Always remember internet safety. NEVER include your email address, a mailing address, or phone numbers in your ad. If you include any of these in your ad, your ad will be deleted and your membership terminated.
Once you have joined and your profile is on file drop by the chat room and get to know the other members.
Personal
Profiles on Dating Sites
- Use an uncommon or striking
headline: The Personal Profile
should not be a professional but avoid boring demographic descriptions
like "SF Seeks SM for LTR." Instead, try to make it bit interesting
and lively. Be daring! Elicit an emotion! Express yourself!
- Personal Description:
Make your profile interesting describing yourself and
also what you are looking for in your potential partner. For
interesting and the right personal profile, you need to be totally
honest in writing up. For that first make a list of things you like to
put in and are important for you. The other thing you need to be
careful is to make sure the description is not lengthy but up to the
point so that the other person does not get bore while reading it. It
should be in such a way and long enough that the visitor gets all the
information in the first few lines.
- Proofread. Spelling, punctuation and grammar
are as important as content. Think of the presentation of your message
as a way of dressing for a date. While clothes don't make the man (or
woman), no one wants to appear shoddy or unkempt.
- Say it with style. What you say may not be as
important as how you say it. Play with words. Write poetry. Tell a
story.
- Be less-than perfect. Regardless of the style
you choose or the language you use to express yourself, be careful not
to extol your many virtues to the point of boredom, or even suspicion.
No one can be that perfect. Your minor faults and charming
inconsistencies make you human, interesting and
approachable.
- Avoid sending up red. Don't whine, complain
or drivel on about any problems in your life. Refrain from casting
yourself in the role of the victim, the egregiously wronged, or the
emotionally mortally wounded. Be positive and optimistic.
